Tuesday, January 17, 2012

In case you missed it, I have started a new blog. You may find it interesting or repulsive. Either way, take a look at it and give your feedback. There is even a poll :) Here is the link:

Letters to the President

Consequences of bad health

Well, this past week hasnt been very great - to say the least. First, I lost my job that I loved due to too many absences. Those absences were caused my unstable health. I took many sick days and left early too many times for doctor's appointments and iron infusions. Yes, iron infusions. Turns out - after a long tortuous run around to specialists - that I have a pretty severe iron deficient anemia. We tried iron pills - got sick and absorbed no iron. Tried liquid iron - sicker with erratic bruising and loss of what iron I had left. It was almost like my body was rejecting iron all together. As a last resort, I began receiving 2 hour IV iron infusions twice a week back in November. It seemed to have been working until I got a horrible sinus infection and had to stop the treatments with only 2 left to go. Since the infusions are done in the chemo clinic, you cant be sick when you go in.

I was diagnosed with that sinus infection on December 16th after working 9 days in a row and a total of 84 hours. After insisting that the doctor prescribe Augmentin instead of Amoxicillin (which doesnt work for me), the doctor refused and prescribed the Amoxicillin but assured me it would be a higher dose. Basically, I just took 2 at a time instead of one. Reluctantly, I filled the prescription and prayed for a miracle. After the 10 day unnecessary course, I felt some relief for about 2 days. Then Mr. Sinus infection returned with a vengeance. I went back in, promptly demanded and received the Augmentin. By this time, I needed Prednisone as well to reduce the inflammation.

While all of this was going on with me, my daughter Alivia was battling her health also. She developed a sinus infection that ended up being treated with the wrong medicine and was in urgent care 3 straight weekends in a row. I got calls from Preschool that she was vomiting and I had to come pick her up. More days I had to take off work. Strangely enough, my work performance and output wasnt suffering and I made up all the time I was out on weekends and overtime. I actually finished audit season ahead of our deadline. But by the end, I was completely exhausted and more sick than if I had just taken the time to rest. By January 12, I had completely lost my voice and was battling full on bronchitis. Ironically, I was "let go" the next day.

As I write this blog tonight, I am reflecting on my day: Alivia had to be seen by her doctor again and prescribed a stronger antibiotic for her still persistent Rhinitis (after having it steadily for four months). My husband is puking his guts out every 2 hours and I am wide awake from the decongestants I am taking.

In hindsight, I agree that I took a good amount of time off, especially since I was still on a temp-to-hire position, but what could I have done differently? Knowing it had become an issue, I addressed it head-on with my partners at the Company and my supervisor. I promised to do everything in my power to be more reliable and that this was all just bad timing. In the end, I guess it didnt really matter how well the work was done or how much I made up for the lost time. They chose to end my assignment due to excessive absenteeism.

I know there is a balance to work, health and family out there somewhere, but I have yet to find and master it. My goal now is to reschedule the appointments I put off for the sake of my job and get down to the real problem of why I am constantly getting sick. I may have to go on temporary disability just to have some sort of income to contribute. I need to get my little girl well and apparently my husband wont be much fun for the next 24 hours or so.

So is the life of a working mom and wife and eventually, something's gotta give :)

Saturday, July 23, 2011

A Lesson in Life

Becoming a parent has been challenging, fun, painful at times, but most of all it has been my biggest lesson in life. My daughter turns 2 next week and still has so much to learn; how to count, read, talk, love, be a friend, etc. But the truth of the matter is, I have learned so much more from her in the last 2 years and when I look at the world through her eyes, everything seems so much more simpler.

For Alivia, everything is about the now. She doesnt remember crying 5 minutes ago for her bottle or think about what she's going to do after this episode of Barney is over. She doesnt worry about how her feet are outgrowing her current pair of shoes or where her next meal will come from. She finds humor in the tiniest things and wonderment in things like bugs! When she learns something new, she isnt afraid to be proud of it and makes sure that everybody knows the new skill she's developed. Going to bed is something she hates because she doesnt want to miss a thing. She cant understand why mommy and daddy cant play with her when we are paying the bills or even cooking dinner. Bath time is a luxury for her; definitely not a necessity. Playing outside, running, jumping, swimming, singing, dancing - these are things she loves to do and are not considered exercise.

There are so many things that I have learned from my little girl that I could go on forever. I am jealous of how much she just loves life. I wish we all could have that innocence still. Even though I still get stressed, angry, impatient and worried, I can now stop myself and remember that my precious baby girl rarely ever feels these emotions. One day she will and I know my heart will break just a little for her. One day she will have responsibilities and grades and hard days, just like we all do. But for now, her delightful laugh and amazing smile lets me know that life is good and tomorrow is always a new day.

Mommy loves you Alivia Marie Rose

On the Move - Again!

Over the course of my lifetime, I have moved more times than I can count. As a child, my mom and I moved very often and the pattern seemed to follow me into adulthood. Once Derrick and I met, we lived in a motorhome and the moving around continued.

2 years ago and 2 days before Alivia was born, we moved into the apartment we are currently in and in 6 days we will be moving again. This time, I hope and pray we wont be moving for again for a very long time. We have found what we belive the perfect little house for our family. We even have an option to lease to own after the first year. We are very happy to be getting out of our tiny apartment and into a house with a yard for Alivia and Little Bear (our dog).

That being said, it doesnt seem to matter how many times I've done it, moving is a pain in the you-know-what! The packing, cleaning, renting a truck and of course all of the money involved, is a nightmare. This time around, we decided to get rid of anything and everything that we wont be using in the new house. Needless to say, we have donated a ton of stuff and filled up the equivalent of 3 dumpsters of trash. Today we are down to just packing up the rest of what we're taking with us, minus what we need to leave out for the week.

This move is going to be great but the work involved sometimes has me thinking, "Is it really worth it to do it all over again?" Realistically, I know it will be and my family will be much happier. These days, that's all that matters to me :)

Here are some pictures of our new house:

Friday, July 22, 2011

Welcome One and All!

Well, it's official - I finally have my very first Blog! I know, I am a little behind in doing this but hey, it is what it is :) I guess I chose to start one because, although I like sharing every minute of my life with you on Facebook, I really wanted something that felt a bit more intimate where I could share my thoughts. Not everybody will have access to this so I feel I can be more candid. I am excited to have you be a part of this and to have you follow this along on this journey called Life. Enjoy!